There once was a man named Rubber Johnny
He lived back in my home town
I used to watch him stumbling sideways
All around the town he'd be staggering around
There once was a man named American Damo
He came from the U S A
He used to ask me for a half pint of G
But all he really wanted was a coffee and a cake
There once was a man named Dan the Busdriver
He told me a tale 'bout getting trapped under a train
I could not see how his story could be true
But the gin on his lips was there to take away his pain
And I'm a long, long way from home
Momma I'm a long, long way from home
There once was a boy named Luke the Little Shithead
He dad was a drunk and his mother a prostitute
He grew up hard and used to walk around swingin
But the world chewed him up and spit him out like shit through a shoot
There once was a girl named Blaithnead Berry
She was just as cute as a cherry on a cake
She ran outta herr screaming piss and vinegar
But we all always know that one day she'd catch a break
And like her I'm a long, long way from home
Like her I'm a long, long way from home
There once was a chimp named Champo Davie
He picked a bad fight in the wrong side of town
It took a long time to get him back on his feet
But he's up now Momma and he won't let you down.
And I'm a long, long way from home
Momma I'm a long, long way from home
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